APRIL 12TH – 2014 – 7:33 AM.
Due to the extreme #weightloss, I’ve become a recluse in the last couple of the weeks. It isn’t because I can’t resist temptation. My stomach has actually shrunk so much when I look at food it appears like an abstract piece of art. Like a Picasso or Dali. I literally have the mental thought, “That’s not food. That’s something foreign to you.” Of course, I do have my moments of #hunger panic (though they are thought induced as opposed to originating from a body sensation). For the most part this warped way of thinking is making these last eight days more bearable. And because I’ve been #fasting for so long, I’ve had an epiphany.
I’ve realized how lucky I am to live in a society where if I’m hungry I just go out and eat. Conceptually, I’ve always understood my luck but now I really feel what hunger must be like in parts of the world. My heart is an open wound to this suffering now. To my core, I now know, I’ve never had any real problems in my life. I’ve had 1st world problems (#firstworldproblems) and that’s an ignorant way to live. I’ve always considered myself to be a good person but that doesn’t mean I haven’t just been taking up space. I don’t know how yet but I must contribute to the betterment of the world in some way. It is now my duty as a human being part of humanity.
#Christian Bale, #Michael Fassbender, and #Matthew McConaughey all revealed their #weightloss experience to be a spiritual journey, and I agree. It does become a journey of #spirituality. It’s been a blessing to feel a taste of what someone like Gandhi or Bobby Sands would have gone through in their hunger strikes. Make no mistake, I am not saying for a second my fasting is in any way comparable to the causes they stood for and the strength of their conviction. Nor am I comparing myself to these great men. It is, however, the knowing of this difference, of my little experience in relation that moves me to tears at the thought of their commitment and sacrifice for #worldchange. Wow. It’s huge.
Tomorrow is the first day of our second block of shooting.
CANDiLAND has changed my life and added a lot of #perspective. I’m grateful for this experience and excited to discover what possibilities are present as we complete our final week.
If you haven’t informed yourself about the contributions of #Gandhi (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gandhi)or the #hungerstrike of #BobbySands (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobby_sands) , Wikipedia is a great start. Their stories are moving and a necessity to know.